[Vol. 3 pt. 7] Patch 2.0: Babies and Burgers
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Ryouta and Cassandra reach the apartment complex’s lobby and see a short, older woman with shoulder-length hair the same color as Serra’s.

She lights up and runs over with her arms raised in the air as soon as she sees Ryouta and Cassandra.

Neither of them knows how to react other than by standing still and letting her rush at them, leaving a few suitcases behind on the floor.

“Roota! Cassandra!” the woman calls out, wrapping her arms around them as soon as she’s close.

Ryouta doesn’t know how to feel about hearing his name so mispronounced. Should he correct her? No, he’d feel like he’s being rude if he does that.

He guesses that he’s “Roota” now.

The woman unwraps her arms from them and instead rests her hands on their shoulders, getting a good look at them. “Serra has shown me pictures of you two, but I’m so happy that I’m finally meeting you! You’re all she talks about and is always looking at your pictures on her phone,” Serra’s mom says.

Ryouta and Cassandra have never really pictured Serra acting like that before, but now that they are, they each blush from how cute the thought is.

“Nice to meet you,” Ryouta says.

“Oh! My manners, I’m so sorry. My name is Lilian. Did I pronounce your name correctly, Roota?” Lilian asks.

“Ah, uhh, it’s Ryouta,” he answers.

“Reeohtah?”

“Ryouta.”

“Ryouta… is that right?”

“Yeah, you’ve got it now.”

“Great! Sorry for messing it up. I haven’t known many Asians. You don’t seem just Asian, though… European mother? I can’t figure out which country, but you definitely have some European in you!”

“I’m impressed. People always assume my dad was the European one, but you’re right.”

Serra’s mom triumphantly places her hands on her hips and nods her head a few times. “Of course I am! Mothers can tell these sorts of things about good children,” she explains before turning her attention to Cassandra. “The curse may finally be broken,” she says with a solemn nod.

“C-curse?” Cassandra asks.

Lilian points at Cassandra’s breasts and then her own. “Not a single woman in our family is larger than I am – than Serra is. All of us mothers and all of our daughters are the same size to the point where our bras are constantly being confused and mixed up. But you – you may finally break the curse.”

“But… we’re both girls.”

“It still counts as you’re all married together! Even if Serra technically doesn’t contribute to that process, your child will legally be part of her family, and she’s part of our family, so the curse will be broken!” Lilian explains, grabbing Ryouta’s shoulders. “Make sure to keep on having them until one breaks the curse.”

“Having them?” Ryouta asks.

“Kids. You need to pop out kids with Cassandra until the curse is broken. I am counting on both of you.”

Ryouta and Cassandra look at each other, their cheeks steadily turning redder.

“Don’t be afraid to poke holes in the condoms if he isn’t ready yet,” Lilian not-so-quietly whispers to Cassandra with a thumbs-up. Then she looks at Ryouta and says, “It’s okay if you try the pull-out method without the pulling out part.”

Ryouta and Cassandra are starting to realize why Serra is the way that she is.

“I know what you two are thinking, but please understand! I’m in my forties! I had Serra before I was your age and I want to have cute grandbabies before I’m too old to play with them! And the curse needs broken! Also, I want at least five grandbabies, so you need to get to work, Ryouta. There is one other girl now, isn’t there? The overseas one? You could get me five of them this year if two of them are lucky enough to have twins! I want a pile of babies!”

The few other people in the lobby are all listening in now to their conversation.

While Ryouta tries his best to stay respectful by looking at Lilian as she’s talking, steam rises from Cassandra’s head as she hangs it low to avoid anybody seeing just how red she is.

“Then you need to have another five once the first five aren’t babies anymore,” Lilian says.

It’s a good thing that Ryouta’s finances are taken care of now.

“I, uhh, we’ll see about that,” Ryouta answers.

“Don’t keep me waiting too long, alright? These things are important! I should get your number from Serra and start sending you all the cute baby pictures I see,” Lilian thinks out loud. She then sighs and shrugs. “I’ll be patient for a little bit longer, but not for too long! For now… Serra’s stuff is over there,” she points at the suitcases near the lobby’s entrance, “and I hope that you all have a fun time together. Think of this as practice for when you really move in together! You can also get some baby-making practice in. But, since I’m so nice and understanding and selfless, I included some condoms in her stuff just in case you’re not ready.”

“Alright, thanks for bringing her stuff over, and it was nice getting to meet you.”

“Ye-yeah, nice to meet you,” Cassandra says.

Lilian goes in for some parting hugs. When hugging Ryouta, she whispers, “Don’t forget, five this year,” and then when she hugs Cassandra, she whispers, “Break the curse.” “Buh-bye!” Lilian says, kissing each of them on the tops of their heads before leaving.

Of course, before she gets out of sight, she turns back to look at them and makes an open circle with one hand and sticks a finger from her other hand through it back and forth.

“We are not using any condoms that she left,” Cassandra says.

“It’s pretty funny how your boobs are pretty much the most important things even to your girlfriend’s mom,” Ryouta teases.

“Do I need to kill you?”

“Replace ‘kill’ with ‘have sex with’ and the answer is yes.”

“You. Are. So. Lucky, that there are people around right now. I am killing you once we’re alone.”

“Kill is code for sex, right?”

Cassandra tugs on his earlobe. “I think I might just kill you now and not worry about witnesses.”

Ryouta leans in and places a surprise kiss on her lips, causing her to release his ear and look away with reddened cheeks once more.

Then he notices Lilian standing outside watching and giving him two thumbs-ups.

If Serra’s birth mother like this, and she has multiple other moms and dads… he’s greatly concerned about what the rest of them are like.

Ryouta and Cassandra carry Serra’s suitcase back upstairs together and expect the worst when they open the door to his apartment.

Instead of seeing anybody tied up and bound on the floor, they see Alice sitting on the floor with her back against his couch and Aiko’s head resting on her lap with closed eyes. Is she asleep?

Alice raises a finger in front of her lips and to “shh” them.

Aiko’s gentle breathing and the fact that she’s not charging at Ryouta to cling to him is proof that she’s asleep.

“She said she wanted to take a power nap before we leave. She must have been very tired,” Alice explains with a soft, motherly voice as she strokes the side of Aiko’s head.

Neither Ryouta nor Cassandra ever expected to see Alice treating some girl she barely knows with such motherly affection, but when they think about it, they can totally picture Alice being the most motherly out of them all. She’s eccentric and borderline delusional most of the time, but she’s a kind and sweet girl first and foremost.

But… why is everybody getting to use Alice’s lap as a pillow except for him? Even Cassandra is going to get a lap pillow from Alice’s thighs before he does!

With a defeated sigh, Ryouta takes Serra’s suitcase into his bedroom and Cassandra follows him.

Serra is sitting at his desk watching subtitled videos online, so he pokes her to get her attention. She spins around in his chair and looks up at him with a wide smile, quickly kissing him before he backs away.

“What was that for?” he asks.

She reads his lips and signs, “Because I love you.” She then gets out of the chair, places her hands on the sides of Cassandra’s head, and pulls her down so that she can kiss her as well for the same reason.

“Your mom is crazy,” Cassandra signs. “She wants us all to have at least five kids within a year.”

Serra holds up eight fingers.

“You – you don’t mean you want eight kids, right?” Cassandra asks, letting Serra read her lips.

Serra confidently nods before looking at Ryouta’s crotch.

“H-hey now, I’m going to start feeling like a breeding horse at this rate.”

Serra signs to both of them, “Need more girlfriends. More girlfriends means more girls can be pregnant at once which means quicker baby production.”

“Cass Cass,” Ryouta says.

“I’m already on it,” Cassandra answers, opening up Serra’s suitcase and digging out those condoms to toss them away.

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