Chapter 6: Death, Dreams & Blessings

You have Died. You will respawn after an indeterminate length of time has passed. Please enjoy your death dream in the meantime and thank you for playing Cauldron of Realms Ascended!

Gentle sunlight pulled me towards wakefulness, despite an overwhelming sense of contentment and safety. 

Noooooo… 

Wriggling down, I pulled the soft sheets around me over my head and tried to best to soak in the peace. Everything is warm and soft, it smells like…  like… I missed this— 

Wait!? missed this? I know that smell.

Jerking upright, the sheets slipped down, exposing me. I’m in— “Moms’ bedroom?” I whispered.

Around me was the same shade off white painted walls. The same floral curtains. The same wide mirrored vanity my mothers used to sit beside each other at, as they got ready in the mornings. The same bed, with it’s thick comforter. It smelt of them.

I used to sneak in during the night and wriggle up in between them whenever I had a nightmare. My sanctuary, I really had missed it. 

How?

I was only sixteen when they died and lacking other family in America, I was to be placed in the state’s care. In the Will what little we had should have been placed in trust until I turned 18, but because of the already tenuous mortgage the bank ended up taking the house. I ended up running away over it.

Last I heard, the new owner had gutted and renovated the place to rent out as many substandard bedrooms as they could. Anything that was left from it had been placed in long term storage six years ago and I’d have to prove I was me, if I wanted to see any of it.

Everything was exactly how it looked back when i was a kid right down to how much bigger it looked compared to me. No… I was just smaller again, like I was when I was six. I was younger again.

Crawling across the bed trailing sheets behind me, I positioned myself to look in the vanity’s mirror across the room. A midnight blue haired girl with fur covered triangular ears and a snaking furry tail peered back. 

That’s me! Well not me, my character, but also not my character. My character if she was the same age I was when this place was a sanctuary from every bad dream.

Ok I’m not stupid, I know I’m in vitural reality, in the game. The realism might be messing with me, but I was wondering why I was here, I mean how I was here? Both?

“Didn’t expect to be seeing you here so soon,” a kindly voice chuckled behind me.

It couldn’t be Mamaí, but maybe? Mom?

I twisted around to see her, but instead of my Mom, there was a motherly looking blonde woman, with a gentle smile, crow’s feet in the corners of her eyes and from her neck hung a pair of oversized glasses. A motherly person, but not either of my moms.

“Well since you’re here…” she started, turning on a replica of my parent’s old bedside holoprojector, whacking it when it flickered and frowning. The holoprojector’s image resolved into a recording of my fight against the bandits.

Instead of watching myself, my eyes kept turning to Roxi and the recorded me was faring little better as she also kept glancing over at the girl beside her. I was flashy, but something about her was eye catching, like the inescapable gravity of a blackhole. The fight ended and while I was still blindly throwing spells, she was just standing there looking triumphant like some sort of victorious valkyrie. Then, seeing my recorded self still blasting away, her eyes seemed to widen, not concern like why would she be feeling that? I probably scared her.

I watched on as she broke me out of my battle induced trance and then it came time to loot.  This time I saw what my past self had not, after waiting for me to become distracted, Zessus who’d been playing dead, grabbed a dropped loaded crossbow and aimed it at my back. Roxi had seen it too going by the look of horror on her face, before she yelled her warning too late.  

The bolt was already shooting through the air as I turned, until it hit my left side between my arm and breast, burying itself up to the fetchings as it pierced my lung and maybe my heart. My recording looked so confused as she went limp and toppled sideways into the churned earth of the clearing.

“So. ten points for the plan, seven for the actual fight, oh my goddess the explosive decoy that was amusing, but the finish? Three points. You need to be more careful dear, pace yourself and don’t rush or you will make careless mistakes.”

What?

What, no, who the hell?

“Oh, who am I?” she replied as if reading my thoughts, “Well think of me as a friend who wants to help you. This is the Death Dream. Given the game’s realism and the potential for a gruesome death and everything that goes with it, there needs to be a way of dealing with any trauma before it is allowed to fester and grow. The dream is designed to manifest as your ideal sanctuary, the place you feel at your most calm and safe. Sorry, I get that this isn’t entirely on the mark, it’s missing what made it your sanctuary, you’re kind of a tough cookie to help.”

“Thank… you?” I stammered, overawed by the situation. So I had died and the game made this place? From my memories? That was kind of creepy, y’know? After watching my own death I could understand why this existed, beforehand I hadn’t realised the full implications of the game’s realism.

“I think, I think I am going to be alright,” I replied slowly, working my way through my feelings.

The ‘friend’ shuffled across the bed until she was close enough to place a caring hand on my shoulder. “Maybe not as right as rain, funny phrase that, but thankfully your death was fairly quick and you were still riding the fight’s adrenaline surge.”

Giving my shoulder a quick comforting squeeze, she looked me in the eyes and smiled.

“Don’t let this discourage you. Aside from that set back with the rabbits, you’re doing great! You have embraced the game world, you have shown courage and ingenuity constructing your character and plans. You’ve even made your first player friend!” she encouraged.

“You mean Roxi, right?” I asked, we had formed a party and spent a day together, but friends? Am I allowed to assume that?

“You two make a good party,” she winked, smiling again, “Ok, I am going to send you back to the game proper kitten, don’t be in a hurry to come back and see me.” 

“I’ll try!” I earnestly replied, I knew I was probably beaming now. Hiding my emotions had been a lot harder since I first logged in and despite all the smoke and daggers, she seemed really nice.

The ‘friend’ seemed to wince at my smile and her expression shifted dramatically, she was still smiling but it wasn’t the caring smile she had worn up till now. Instead it was a guilty smile, as her eyes fixated on the space behind me, anxiously unable to meet my gaze. “Good bye…”

“Wait, I still have questi— ”

* * *

The sense of disembodied muted self, devoid of all senses in the darkness transitioned to the sensation of waking up in a familiar bed.

And the feeling of being watched…

Shifting slightly, I opened my eyes to find a particularly recognisable bear cub Alrec, Paph, squatting next to the bed staring at me with awe.

“Sister Aisling you’re back! Well you weren’t… I was staying up up waiting for you! Then, then… Then you appeared in your bed just now! Like you have mist coming off you! Was that magic or? Did you? Are you? Didyadieandareyouoneofthoseblessed?” he excitedly cried, talking too fast to be understood and way too loud for any listener just waking up.

“Ah, hello Paph… I’m back in the orphanage? I guess this is my revive location,” I greeted trailing off into a mutter, sitting up. 

If I had said Paph couldn’t get anymore excited than he already was, I’d have been wrong. Listening to what I said, his eyes widened to near anatomically inaccurate proportions at my words.

“Revive?! You really did die didn’t you! But, but you’re alive again! Big Sis you’re a Blessed! Aren’t you!? Aren’t you!?” he blurted out, almost shaking my arm off having grabbed onto it earlier.

Blessed? Ah right from the game’s world creation myth, players are Blessed, individuals who contain pieces of the shattered god Chaos, blessed by the lovers Creation and Ruin. Blessed stopped aging at some point after they reached maturity and were physically immortal until Ruin decided it was their time. 

When killed their bodies eventually turned to mist, which would reform their immortal shell at a site of sanctified ground, usually a shrine to the Gods. For players, certain things counted as sanctified ground; churches, temples, a sacred grotto, a small shrine in a house or village building and they usually had a field of influence, covering a building, a village or even a city and by entering that field you would have your respawn location set there.

Scratching the back of my head, I managed a smile for Paph, “Seems, I am. Lucky that I made a stupid mistake and ended up getting myself killed. I was doing fairly well too up till that point.”

Paph’s smile momentarily faltered as he came to a sobering realisation, I had very recently died and while my being a Blessed and able to resurrect was exciting to the npc child in theory, the reality of ‘Big Sis’ dying and scenarios where I hadn’t been a Blessed were already whizzing through his brain.

“I’m thankful Big Sis is a Blessed,” he mumbled burying his furred face in my side as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Me too, me too…” I replied, patting his head. “It’s late and I’m not going anywhere. How about we get some shut eye.”

Giving the npc child a quick hug, I peeled his arms from around my waist and spinning him around, gently pushed him and sent him off sniffling.

I was finally alone. Party sense only reinforced it, Roxi was still far away, but from the pull and tug, I could tell she was on her way.

With a swipe I opened the party tab, selected Roxi and ‘clicked’ on the icon for direct messaging causing the virtual keyboard to pop up.

Aisling Mistmirror: Hey Roxi, I’m alright!!! Respawned back at the village orphanage, hbu?

Roxadice Umbrial: Exhausted, but I’m fine. Looted all the bandits, we’ll divide it up when I see you. Probably going to crash at the inn as soon as I get back to town. See you in the morning.

Aisling Mistmirror: Sure. Thanks. Sorry for being trouble. Night!

I might have only just ‘woken up’ minutes ago when I respawned, but sinking back down into the bed, I was looking forward to falling asleep.