At 18 years old, Owen found himself mysteriously reincarnated after dying from unknown causes. Upon entering Adrios, Owen was blessed with the legendary ability of 'Creation', which was intended to be used against the two Demon Lords.
However, instead of being the legendary hero, Owen decides to forsake his quest and become a Merchant!
Utterly confused by the hero's choice, the Goddess Of Justice decides to follow Owen until he finally accepts his quest!
But as Owen and Goddess Justine explore the continent, they quickly realize that life as a merchant is anything but typical!
Follow this satirical, comedy isekai as Owen begins his bizarre road to riches!
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[Adventum Contest Entry]
The premise is good, there seems to be good intentions behind the characters, however the development needs to much more. All the characters end every other sentence with an exclamation point, everyone exposition dumps, tension is not developed but rather skipped over and there is far to much tell rather than show. Case in point the relationship between Justine and Owen. There is no insight into motivations, no sign of behavior to explain why they can go from I need a hero to tit slaps to bury the hatchet to a couple. Please revisit and re-edit your story to allow your characters to behave naturally with motivation. I’m not trying to say you can’t have them all get along as they are, but let us experience the moment to understand why they are, especially when you set them up so they shouldn’t. Keep at it
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First off, this is not completed, this story is abandoned.
The characters in this story feels very one dimensional and shallow. I feel the same about the story as well. The story is tagged with satire, but I can't really find any real satire. I also find the comedy lacking/simple, but that is more of a personal preference.
I feel as if the author threw genre and tags on the story. Maybe the author wanted to full fill all of them, but instead ended up with a story felt lacking in most of them, if not all.
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I can't keep reading past Ch7.5 (map). It's just too contrived and there's no explanation for how any of the characters act (and then behave differently a paragraph later).
I think it was supposed to be funny and everything just falls flat. There's no build-up, suspense, or even excitement, despite the MC coming across bandits that were even dumber than he was. Yes, he defeated them easily and without any trouble at all and had no training besides odd whispers in his head telling him what to do.
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