I really like this story concept, and I'm not trying to complain... more of a helpful point-of-view, but I get the feeling things are either to rushed and set up to make the MC overpowered beyond compare or not written to last. There could've and should've been more character growth. Levels and stats could've been thought out a bit more. The whole 'multiple class' aspect is confusing and hard to keep track of. Skills should've had a 'combination' skill aspect (i.e. skills that share same 'principle' combine into an upgraded skill or advanced skill) to allow less clutter during skill updates. Classes should've been more singular, and luck/participant based as to allow more uniqueness to MC and support characters. Story hasn't had enough build to setup a good foundation (i.e. character rushing around to clear Dungeons, and many many small [several day] time skips.) Like I said this story has a good concept, and despite the rushed aspect I enjoyed the couple hour read. Really hoping for a rewrite to better structure it as well as allow it to flow more smoothly. Would've been neat for MC and his ex-fiance to have had a misunderstanding about him catching his best friend and her.. like they were planning a surprise and he misunderstood it for the worst without allowing an explanation, mostly because the cuckolded part is cliché as heck. But anyway... hope my criticism is constructive and helpful. Thanks!
It all started after I received that weird email…
What? Click the boxes to select the body type?
Want me to select a starting point?
Let me put in the name and be done with this, it’s getting late…
I a
I really like this story concept, and I'm not trying to complain... more of a helpful point-of-view, but I get the feeling things are either to rushed and set up to make the MC overpowered beyond compare or not written to last. There could've and should've been more character growth. Levels and stats could've been thought out a bit more. The whole 'multiple class' aspect is confusing and hard to keep track of. Skills should've had a 'combination' skill aspect (i.e. skills that share same 'principle' combine into an upgraded skill or advanced skill) to allow less clutter during skill updates. Classes should've been more singular, and luck/participant based as to allow more uniqueness to MC and support characters. Story hasn't had enough build to setup a good foundation (i.e. character rushing around to clear Dungeons, and many many small [several day] time skips.) Like I said this story has a good concept, and despite the rushed aspect I enjoyed the couple hour read. Really hoping for a rewrite to better structure it as well as allow it to flow more smoothly. Would've been neat for MC and his ex-fiance to have had a misunderstanding about him catching his best friend and her.. like they were planning a surprise and he misunderstood it for the worst without allowing an explanation, mostly because the cuckolded part is cliché as heck. But anyway... hope my criticism is constructive and helpful. Thanks!
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