The pace feels a bit overdrive, but in that sense this is much more of a rollercoster ride.
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Grammar is good
Paragraphs need work
Needs work on the indicator of who's speaking.
Story is actually pretty good and not just an erotica wet dream, I was surprised at that.
The characters don't just bend to the whims of the plot, that's not something you see often, so another good point.
Characterization is good there aren't any problems with it or mistakes from it so it's all good.
The characters feel like people and not puppets.
Good story would recommend to people that don't mind extreme depravity.
The pace feels a bit overdrive, but in that sense this is much more of a rollercoster ride.
Read More
Grammar is good
Paragraphs need work
Needs work on the indicator of who's speaking.
Story is actually pretty good and not just an erotica wet dream, I was surprised at that.
The characters don't just bend to the whims of the plot, that's not something you see often, so another good point.
Characterization is good there aren't any problems with it or mistakes from it so it's all good.
The characters feel like people and not puppets.
Good story would recommend to people that don't mind extreme depravity.
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