By Bartend
A 25 year-old parking attendant met his bullies on high school, seeing both of them successful angered him. To make his anger worst, both of them didn’t even apologizes to him for what they did. Suddenly, everything around them stopped. They
Basically there are a few minor ones. The big one is where you have the lowest possible rank person, Alicia, affecting plot on a god level. She did so by using an array made by Lisa to push her aura Innate in a God level spell array. She did that right after Jack, who Lisa the Bitch didn't bother to make an array for, was healing a Lisa's, a God by the way, soul even minutely at two percent to the point that he got soul wounds himself for said bitch. It was even more infuriating than that to read from a male perspective here. Especially since Lisa Fem Dom's him right after!
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I could see this eventually getting published still if it fixes the tone issues and keeps this quality you see in the early chapters through the hole work or better. The writer does seem to be actively improving and engaging with the audience. That hasn't changed. Answering questions and such.
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The blurb could use some work still. I've big thing I'll add is that this needs a Fem Dom tag and warning. Most guys aren't into that. It's not as bad as NTR, but those guys who hangout with the foot fetish and armpit loving dudes. Not trying to kink shame, but point out that a warning would have been nice there with at least a tag for it.
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Anyway...
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I did initially ignore this story worried about the man being like they usually are in romance books, but this is not like that at first. At first he was dominant and assertive. What you would expect of a Chad Thundercock. Even goddesses wanted some. It's a serious novel with deep world-building, just needs to parcel it out more efficiently. It reminds me of the game, Tyranny in a lot of ways. It's not as good as that, but it's worth the read if you can get past what I have been hung up on.
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I am a sucker for soul bond stories, so take my words with a grain of salt, but I love this book so far. I actually read through the chapters twice, which I almost never do.
Characters
The characters are likeable and realistic. Their emotions seem appropriate at all times, as if the author put themself in the characters' shoes.
Grammar
Any grammar mistakes are few and far between.
Pacing
The pacing of the plot seems good. I don't feel like things are going too fast or too slow.
Descriptive language
If there is any section of the book that's lacking, it's this. While reading, I often made up my own visualizations of the characters and places since the author mostly focused on feelings and actions when describing things. Despite this, I wouldn't want to sacrifice emotion or soul bond descriptions for better visualizations.
World building
I feel like I'm learning about the world with the main characters. It feels natural and is fed to the readers at a good pace.
Soul bond
This is my favorite aspect of the story, and I hope it continues to be the focal point. I love reading about how it affects the main characters and their actions.
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