It was a ceremony to connect the soul to Yogomaya - a mental plane, where all universal events, thoughts, words, intents and events ever to occur in past, present and future in terms of all entities were encoded. An specific account would be created for every awakened individuals, and they could learn sensing and using mana - the spiritual energy of the world and could learn supernatural skills. Basically the awakened individuals would become supernatural beings.

--> Very rarely does An stand for anything that doesn't start with a consonant, thus A specific, is the right term.--> The ones at bold is passive voice, whereas you could easily give more impact (voice) to it, for example, *They created a specific account for every awakened individuals, "--> Individuals, (comma one space away.) -->  in past, present and future -> in the past,... sensing and using mana --> to sense and use manaOn a side and unrelated note, I've heard a lot about baldur's gate games (:Dialogue rules:Xiao Fang !" , a guard walked out from the Council Building with a list in hand and shouted. --> Xiao Fang!" A guard walked out from the Council Building with a list in hand and shouted. You don't make a space between surname and exclamation point, you do not start the following sentence with a comma. You do however use it in this way if necessary:

"I'm here, " a teenager boy raised his hand (This is allowed, since the one who speaks, is the one doing the action. And if you want him to shout, you can write that:"I'm here, " a teenager boy shouted, while raising his hand..."I select the Rogue class" -> "I select the Rogue class." Punctuation is law. Ch3: and equipped one dagger and one rapier in left and right hand. --> and equipped one dagger and one rapier. (It's hard to imagine he'd equip them elsewhere.)