Cole Stephens awoke in a dark alley inside a body of a murdered high schooler, his memory of his life taken from him by whatever power brought him into this world that was supposed to be on the pages of a comic and not a reality of its reader. Cole Stephens, now known as Jeremy York, was once heir to the considerable fortune of York Industries.
Warning: I’m not a professional writer nor an English major, so my grasp on proper writing structure os flawed and this won’t be perfect. If you’re expecting some GOT type of storytelling I apologize I’m telling the story I want to read and sharing with everyone else.
If you're bored, have nothing to read, or just enjoy Marvel and grammar errors can no longer inflict you with psychic damage you might like the story.
Long review for author below (sorry for any spelling mistakes it 1AM and had to rewrite this twice after the site ate the first two on mobile.) :
Okay lets see the story suffers form bad pacing, bad grammar, and feels more influenced by eastern culture (this will be expanded upon) than western but its not all bad lets break it down.
The grammar is bad but not in the doesn't know English bad but more in the some words are completely missing so please reread your chapters.
The pacing of the story is extremely fast sometimes and some scenes are skipped entirely. The scene with the MC, the principal, and Agent Coulson was one of the worst offenders. As the reader let me tell you what this felt like, MC beats flashes ass gets escorted into the principals office by the principal and Coulson, I'm hyped to see how this is going to go down but then chapter ends so I click next chapter but *BAM* interlude that has nothing to do with the story yet so I go to the next chapter and what do I read? Not him in the office but he's at home now and the whole thing was skipped. Author this was suboptimal.
This is mostly personal opinion so feel free to ignore but on the topic of interludes please save those for the end of the arc or story downtime when nothing crazy is happening as they mess with the flow. Like the planet appearing in space and the reaction shouldn't have been placed right in between chapters of conflict or high tension. Look at chapter 23 'Injustice' followed immediately by an interlude and then continues in chapter 24 'Injustice part 2'.
Now what did I mean by eastern culture? The world feels extremely unrealistic with everyone being either corrupt or bad guys that resort to " If you kill me my *insert generic senior brother name here* will kill you". This is Marvel where the heroes are a dime a dozen and the good guys almost always win but in this story we have gangs openly extorting people and the police doing nothing except going after our MC. It just doesn't feel like marvel but more like a Wuxia/Xianxia cultivator story without the cultivation. I hope it doesn't stay like this
The stuff is going to be gone over quickly because I dont much to say. This story has a very good system that doesn't force the MC to do things against his will. Red Hood is always cool (That might be why the story is a bit dark tbh). The Red Lantern Corp ideals explanation was very cool.
Hope you keep writing author the story is cool.
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THIS IS TOO GOOD ! MC isnt dumbass or a 'heroic' sh*t. He's completely neutral thats what I like about it. The writing is also good and understandable. Please continue with this series. Red hood is my favorite and you did a GREAT JOB !!!
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