A horde of girls simping for or obsessing over the MC looking at you, Bellatrix which constantly gives this fanfic a 'harem' story feeling
a huge amount of misunderstandings which make fanfic painful to read
magimirrors which are magic smartphones, social media included which make this feel this story feel like it's happening in 201Xs, they are always used to bring drama and attention to MC and his rumored love life. They also add reactions to make MC look "cool" and "badass"
cheesy, shallow throwaway villains that are evil just because with amateur dislikable traits like extreme arrogance to the point of idiocy and r@pey or/and sadistic mindset
plot rigidly moving point to point and forcing the characters to fit the mold necessary for it
continuing the previous point, author claims that MC is given knowledge on how to interact with people optimally which is later ignored unless needed by author for plot and some stuff is forgotten just like the mission to get friends (RIP Rose and co.), allies and positive attention in school and the AR approval increase from troll.
isekai'd genius OP when needed but otherwise "faint of heart" side kick with no respect for strangers' privacy ("it's ok to use legilimency on this guy I don't know") which bloats the story with irrelevant stuff. She (mentally an adult) also falls for a 13 y.o. And can't keep her undignified persona around him and ONLY him
all threats are powercreeped to prevent anyone but MC from ever being useful
very childish humor with 'your mom' and D jokes as default 'this is funny, laugh' moments
author inserting his opinion into the story through characters making some of them ~~Akiko~~ go OOC ('dirty mind' phrase is not funny)
lazy drama
13 y.o. Petty edgy asocial OP MC that thinks on the level of an adult as long as social interactions are not involved (why is he such a Gary Stu except when talking to girls?), gets called a 'sigma' by author at least once and perfect for saving the world by AR (cringe af)

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I would've given this story at least a 3 stars for it's best moments but there are WAY too many bad ones for that.

On pros worldbuilding is fine but I can't bring myself to care about it with the way story is written and I had some fun reading the hype moments as quite a few of them were actually cool (I dig the quiddich arc and most "savage" moments when they aren't overextended). Also I think I finally reached a point where MC will not leave 'harem' rumors be.

I wouldn't really recommend reading the fanfic but if you can handle the cons then who am I to stop you?

1 Likes · Like

Mutalith

Status: chapter 15

Sep 27, 2023

So this is a story about an orphan who gets thrust into the wizarding world after gaining a 'system'. The weird part is the kid is 11 but acts like he's in his mid 20s. He calls himself a master thief but again is only 11 and has only been living on the streets for 3 years. The worst part of the entire story is that the MC falls into one of my least favorite tropes, the hyper-anti-social misanthrope whose entire thought process boils down to "all people bad, no trust anyone". It makes for a incredibly shallow character that barely interacts with the other characters. All in all I'd give it a 6.5/10.

15 Likes · Like

Doecheldorf

Status: auxiliary chapter: illustrations and links

Jan 2, 2024

Have you heard of 'show, don't tell'?

This novel only tells instead of showing. How do we know the MC is a good thief? Because the author directly tells us. How do we know what his mental compass is like? Author tells us. I can't get over it, it ruins the story.

12 Likes · Like

Sheepherderr

Status: chapter 34: the danger

Sep 28, 2023

This story is an interesting one. While the world that all the characters move though owes there origin the the Harry Potter novels, the adaptation found here is just different enough to give a breath of fresh air.

The main character is young to be sure, but so we're the characters in the original works. It almost feels like it pays homage to them in that regard.

The trust issues that Axel faces are brutal to say the least. Though that's not a bad thing. Trust, when lost, is extremely hard to get back. Mix in his rough upbringing and it feels, if emotionally fueled, realistic. His growth has significance when it happens, far more than it would otherwise.

I like that the system doesn't appear to be malicious, condescending, or slovenly. It has a purpose and seeks to fulfill it.

The characters feel human and the world is a fun blend of magic and tech.

Good work so far. Keep it up.

6 Likes · Like

UwUber

Status: chapter 34: the danger

Sep 28, 2023

I dig it, there might be a few little inconsistencies or things that don’t make much sense in reality but it’s a book that has magic in it so it doesn’t really matter, the MC is a hardened street rat who steals from someone he shouldn’t and is painfully thrust into the wizard world. He’s the typical ‘badass edgy thief’ style character like you might play in a DnD campaign but better fleshed out since he does more than stab and steal

6 Likes · Like

Sergeandgreen

Status: chapter 78: creature above xxxxx

Dec 17, 2023

What makes this story special is that it is an AU version from Harry potter that truly deserves the AU title. While we have a lot of the cast, we all know and like, they aren't the focus, and the changes compared to the original are quite big. At first, I would have said that it was a bit difficult to remember all names (and their corresponding characteristics), but after a few chapters, mentioning and interacting with so many different people makes the world feel alive, which is something not many fanfiction authors manage. The characters get developed over time and actually grow. The main character acts in most cases understandable (not necessarily relatable, but I think I don't really want to relate to a traumatised character). The only flaw in the characters, or just the MC would be that he is somewhat inconsistent in how naive he is when it comes to women.

I honestly would have liked to give the story 4.5 stars, but that's sadly not an option. I then decided to give it 4 stars because of the grammatical errors that follow through the stories. Most of them don't seriously impact the reading flow, but a few rare ones do. If this is fixed, I will revisit the review and give it 5 stars.

4 Likes · Like

Mixbany

Status: c51 new term, new surprises

Oct 2, 2023

Overall I recommend it.

The character has a formidable will from the start and gets a chance to earn strength. He is definitely weak at first however in various ways, some obvious and some not so much. I appreciate the character growth and the interesting supporting cast. I also appreciate the changes from canon, making several things more logical or palatable. Then too it is a nice change to see a character that is neither irrationally heroic nor so villainous as to be unsympathetic. He is a bit broken but has a bottom line. I do find interactions with one side character feel out of place (Rose). I also wish some of the zany items and food from the original were included a bit. These are minor quibbles in the end for what is on the whole a very enjoyable novel.

4 Likes · Like

Dunkler2engel

Status: auxiliary chapter: illustrations and links

Oct 4, 2023

Great history, I was read It in webnovel, but I prefer scriblehub, if the new chapters reach It here at the same time.

2 Likes · Like

Froggysheep

Status: c40

Oct 2, 2023

It's quite good. It managed to include a system into the story without messing up the magic setting and make MC too op. Keep up the good work author.

2 Likes · Like

PARZIVAL1136E

Status: chapter 126: high mobility duel

Feb 2, 2024

My opinion: Read it

Well the story in interesting when it comes to Harry Potter fanfic and otherwise. It feels more like a story based on and beyond the Wizarding World of Rowling rather than a fanfic based on Harry Potter. The MC Axel is not only interesting but quite savage and ruthless, the concept and explantions of light-dark magic are also satisfying and intriguing furhtermore the approach on voldemort and his return is also very unique. The romance is very well balanced and likable moreover the characters are very relatable. So good going @Snollygoster and I hope this fanfic goes on for a long time. The only dissatisfying thing are some grammatical errors which break the flow

1 Likes · Like