Jean Grey's soul is fused with one's of a recently deceased female geek who knows her marvel lore, as she realizes that she was in the Marvel universe, this new Jean Grey takes her destiny in hand to escape her dire fate.
I will be posting this story on Questionable Questing and It's already on Fanfiction.net.
I am going to be writing a hot take on the story; please take this as constructive criticism of the story so that it can be improved.
The author has a big problem; their main character is unlikable. She is in a way relatable; pointing out the hypocrisy and convolutedness of the cannon source material. What makes her unlikable, is that she turns around and does it herself; she's a hypocrite. This precedent is established in the very first chapter. Also having a bad personality does not help; she is kind of rude and manipulative. She is borderline sociopathic.
1.) She criticizes the professor for being mind rapey and having a trust me field. She does what could be described as mind rape (undermines their free will) to 3 people in the chapter. The child molester was justified in a way, but she implied that she is punishing him by not allowing him to feel attraction at all rather than simply fixing his issue. After than she does it to 3 girls, to deescalate a bullying situation, however this was totally unnecessary because the situation could have been resolved with words alone. Finally, she alters Flash's mind for the equivalent of school bullying.
She also states that she learned the 'trust me' field from the professor then implied that she used it on Jessica.
2.) She is a type of Mary Sue because the author is focusing on how awesome and powerful she is, while the consequences of her actions don't apply to her.
3.) She's a villain; this section will get into spoilers for later on. She literally murdered a good portion of the world's population and no one questioned it. The authorities didn't try to book her, not even a word of recrimination. I know it was established that the main character is so powerful that the authorities can't do anything about her, but these are heroes we are talking about. Peggy would absolutely tear a strip out of the main character. Not only that, but she admitted in the first chapter that she didn't know what universe she was in; there could have been a cure. Let's face it, anything can happen in a comic book setting and people pull miracle cure from their ass all the time (sometimes in time limited situations).
A side note: you tend to villainize characters completely; there is no room for in-between. There is no good and evil, which makes characters uninteresting. You villainize the professor, so that he can only do wrong in the eyes of the main character and the audience.
A similar example of a fiction that has made a lot of the same mistakes as this story is "Magical Marvel (HPxMCU) " by athass_prkr on Scribblehub. The only difference is that their main character is more likeable, thus the story is more cathartic. Not good, just cathartic.
Ultimately, I think the author does know their source material and they are trying to point out the issues with it. Where they fail and their story suffers is that they fall for the same issues, undermining whatever point they were trying to make and any catharsis you may get from pointing out the flaws in the source material. The author needs to reexamine their characters; their main character is unlikable, their villains are flat and uninteresting, the other characters just seem like they are their to prop up the main character and justify her actions/existence.
There is a disconnect between comic book logic, real world logic and the writing style of a book, helping the author. We all have to suspend our disbelief to enjoy stories like this, but I had to suspend mine a little too far to actually enjoy the story.
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very good. Story is nice and chapters are super long. Interesting plot and nice romance. 5/5 binge in 1 day
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let's get to what I don't like first.
it feels, lore and worldbuilding are trying to faithfully follow comic books, really horrible for non-comic reader like me. b-rated wuxia novel is more consistant than this sh*t. filled with pseudo science jargons that craft from buzzwords and sound really stupid even if you only has tiny bits of knowledge of that particular field. and worst part is it always make contradictions at every corners.
then you have these startrek geniuses who instanly understand everything only when it is convenient. can outsmart everyones with their jargons and never intellect. you know, something like good stragies and deception from disanvantage point.
and for jean gray....
as scale get bigger, battle turn from 'use cheat (marvel comic) knowledge to change future and live happy' to 'use cheat (buzzwords bullsh*ts) knowledge to change future and live happy'
and why it still got 4 stars?
because goodness it has done. anti hero with no sugar coating, good pacing, and feeling of underdog that it can keep, no matter how inflate power scale is.
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Its really good, I think the GL harem/potential pool might be getting a tad large. Any Harem fiction where the harem-members start fading into the background is usually too large. This rule of thumb seems to apply to characters in general but romantic interests are expected to be of more concern to the MC, so its a bit more to the fore front.
Also, it seems to be in a definitely grosser and more misogynistic version of the MC than what I'm familiar with (having only really watched the cartoon shows or seen the movies). I'm just saying heads up when you get to the Xavier Institue...
But yeah this is a good story and worth your time.
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I mean everything this author magically sh*ts out is a pot of gold.
Everything is done well, no faults I can really find. Characters and well built and chosen. Relationships seem realistic for the most part and everything is accounted for.
Only complaint I would have is I guess I'd rather a few thousand word chapter every couple of days instead of a 40k word chapter every few months. Sure it takes a while to read but gotta remember where I am in the story and it doesn't leave on a cliff hanger if you suddenly reach the current final chapter. Probably a reason why this isn't more popular also, people tend to look for things with more chapters instead of word count on here. Probably?
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I love this book a lot I have been waiting for a Jean Gray book I also like that is takes after the comic's and I have been waiting for a book like this for a long time one where she knows how to use her abilities and her Phoenix Force Powers and Is a Yuri Harem Novel that makes sense and is not total garbage ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for you and this book I just wish the new chapters were more consistent thank you for writing such an awesome story
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Like many have said, the dialogue in this novel isnt exactly great but what really turned me off in the novel is that throughout reading it, the MC is an asshole. She is needlessly rude and doesnt consider others outside her perceived circle at all. She justifies this by going through peoples minds and yet is angry at others when done to her. Tldr. MC is not likable.
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Power ramps up pretty quickly which is okay but then when it seems like everything had been taken care of the MC gets dumped into another dimension to keep things going.
The story isn't unreasonable about it but it does kind of feel like an emergency reset after the character got too powerful too quickly.
I still very much enjoyed it. Thank you so much.
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I'll keep this short and sweet, I throughly enjoyed the first arc, which I think ends at like chapter 14 or so, it's maybe my favorite part since it a giant comedic bomb of "messing with progression of the plots", AKA Hean Grey becoming a powerhouse and rolling over everyone that gets in her way cause they are being selfish pricks and egotistical tyrants! It made me smile and laugh a ton.
But after, you get like 10 interludes, and more later on (of varying levels of importance to plot), progressing the timeline by just months, instead of years, leaving us, the reader, no real chill point. And with a bunch of mistakes that make you pause and go "wait, huh?" And also, the beloved MC crosses from Hero and survivor to half-done villain and budding tyrant, the slippery slope is there, cause she even talks about how she is seeming to be hypocritical with some of her actions. But she is also left some villains go simply on the thought that they are "mostly" taken care of, instead of fully neutralizing (Killing or imprisoning) possible threats, like she'll do that for demons, but not for the remnant of Hydra with the Winter Solider, not for Xavier (yes he's a bad guy here) and his alien technology that will bring in an other threating force (possible). But for me, I think the biggest (minor) mistake she made was with her biotenesis (TK over organic matter so to speak) and not being able to detect artificial/cybernetic augmentations to people around her, something she developed after the first arc, and that leads to villains "slipping under her guard".
Love the writing, love that it's interesting, with chapters the length of a true online novel, but it's just turned into something of a slog to read up to this point.
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4.5 / 5.
tl, dr; Starts off solid; remains fun and generally high quality despite the plot starting to meander somewhat once she starts on her Fix The World World Tour of the World.
Overall, "It's a Fanfic!" (tm) but a good one of those. So, if you like watching a self-insert-type-MC with meta-knowledge get isekai'd and grows into an aggressive demigoddess that steamrolls through the random Marvel Big Bads that, for the most part, get arbitrarily thrown in her way, all while catching Pokemon (err, I mean, gaining a supporting cast of characters) and fixing misc nonsense aspects of Canon than this is one for you!
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The plot does eventually become unrestrained. Around the mid-teen chapters I noticed things start to bounce around from arc to arc without much logical sense of what'll come next. The consequence of this is that many characters introduced in one arc, while potentially still "around", don't get much screen-time when they're not the immediate focus of the current arc (the exceptions are girlfriend (s) of MC and 1-2 staff members which feels like a pretty small supporting cast).
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