A skilled thief gets a system in an Alternate Wizarding World. The system seems useless in the beginning since he hasn’t unlocked any features. But…
[The very first feature of the System has been unlocked.]
[Congratulations. You’ve unlocked the class feature. Due to your existing skills and experience, you have gained the Special Class "Arcane Thief" as your starting class. There’s nothing an Arcane Thief can’t steal. The more you steal, the more your Class will progress.]
[The fields of expertise include:
— Stealth Magic
— Wards
— Traps
— Enchantment
— Pickpocketing
— Knife/Short-Sword Wielding]
Wait…this is just the first feature?
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Also going to post on Royal Road soon
Have you heard of 'show, don't tell'?
This novel only tells instead of showing. How do we know the MC is a good thief? Because the author directly tells us. How do we know what his mental compass is like? Author tells us. I can't get over it, it ruins the story.
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So this is a story about an orphan who gets thrust into the wizarding world after gaining a 'system'. The weird part is the kid is 11 but acts like he's in his mid 20s. He calls himself a master thief but again is only 11 and has only been living on the streets for 3 years. The worst part of the entire story is that the MC falls into one of my least favorite tropes, the hyper-anti-social misanthrope whose entire thought process boils down to "all people bad, no trust anyone". It makes for a incredibly shallow character that barely interacts with the other characters. All in all I'd give it a 6.5/10.
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This is a VERY cheesy amateur turn-your-brain-off powerfantasy (and probably self-insert?) fanfic with stuff like:
Akikogo OOC ('dirty mind' phrase is not funny)Read More
This is, unsurprisingly, an extremely edgy, agsty "fanfic-y" story.
It took bro to be hit with five cruciatus curses to get angry enough to fight back the evil thug wizard who came to torture him for fun, and then he still has energy to be snarky with a system that dropped into his lap.
Do you know what I call it when author says "why is he still alive, this should be impossible!" through the characters, to show that they're aware of the nonsense, only to proceed to not explain why is that actually happening? Bullsh*t. I call it bullsh*t. Just because you called yourself out doesn't give you a free pass to continue.
I don't know why would you think anyone would find MC's personality good. I feel like he is cringy and abrasive.
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This story is an interesting one. While the world that all the characters move though owes there origin the the Harry Potter novels, the adaptation found here is just different enough to give a breath of fresh air.
The main character is young to be sure, but so we're the characters in the original works. It almost feels like it pays homage to them in that regard.
The trust issues that Axel faces are brutal to say the least. Though that's not a bad thing. Trust, when lost, is extremely hard to get back. Mix in his rough upbringing and it feels, if emotionally fueled, realistic. His growth has significance when it happens, far more than it would otherwise.
I like that the system doesn't appear to be malicious, condescending, or slovenly. It has a purpose and seeks to fulfill it.
The characters feel human and the world is a fun blend of magic and tech.
Good work so far. Keep it up.
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I dig it, there might be a few little inconsistencies or things that don’t make much sense in reality but it’s a book that has magic in it so it doesn’t really matter, the MC is a hardened street rat who steals from someone he shouldn’t and is painfully thrust into the wizard world. He’s the typical ‘badass edgy thief’ style character like you might play in a DnD campaign but better fleshed out since he does more than stab and steal
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Overall I recommend it.
The character has a formidable will from the start and gets a chance to earn strength. He is definitely weak at first however in various ways, some obvious and some not so much. I appreciate the character growth and the interesting supporting cast. I also appreciate the changes from canon, making several things more logical or palatable. Then too it is a nice change to see a character that is neither irrationally heroic nor so villainous as to be unsympathetic. He is a bit broken but has a bottom line. I do find interactions with one side character feel out of place (Rose). I also wish some of the zany items and food from the original were included a bit. These are minor quibbles in the end for what is on the whole a very enjoyable novel.
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What makes this story special is that it is an AU version from Harry potter that truly deserves the AU title. While we have a lot of the cast, we all know and like, they aren't the focus, and the changes compared to the original are quite big. At first, I would have said that it was a bit difficult to remember all names (and their corresponding characteristics), but after a few chapters, mentioning and interacting with so many different people makes the world feel alive, which is something not many fanfiction authors manage. The characters get developed over time and actually grow. The main character acts in most cases understandable (not necessarily relatable, but I think I don't really want to relate to a traumatised character). The only flaw in the characters, or just the MC would be that he is somewhat inconsistent in how naive he is when it comes to women.
I honestly would have liked to give the story 4.5 stars, but that's sadly not an option. I then decided to give it 4 stars because of the grammatical errors that follow through the stories. Most of them don't seriously impact the reading flow, but a few rare ones do. If this is fixed, I will revisit the review and give it 5 stars.
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The original Harry Potter and most fanfics I've read in that setting depict a stale and decaying magic community, where not much happens.
This particular fanfiction has done a marvelous job of pitching a revitalized and booming magical world, with varieties of people and events and background life. This further embellishes our hero's choices, as it no longer feels like he's the only one changing things.
I won't comment about some peoples complaints about power tripper or whatever. This is a fanfic, that's kind of the point ha ha. But I will say this is my favorite version of strong protagonist; sheer absolute grit.
as evidenced in the novel by him unrealistically surviving repeated crucio curses
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Great history, I was read It in webnovel, but I prefer scriblehub, if the new chapters reach It here at the same time.
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