Oh…  My…  God!

An hour.  A fucking hour!  Adventure guy talking nonstop about wood.  Like that Bubba guy about shrimp.  Wood this.  Wood that.  What can you build with wood.  What wood tastes better.  How to wipe your ass with wood.

Never knew twigs could be used that way.  And really really wish, I still didn’t know.

Thank christ the girls were there to keep me awake.  The tables in second floor classrooms are big enough for two or three people.  So with three “servants,” I’ve got a table to myself.

Before the class was even half over, I had my exit route planned.

Let’s see, I’ll go around the fat fuck.  Step on the widow’s head.  Push those children out of the way.  Knock down the paralyzed midget.  And get out of the class, where I can help others.¹https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdPy5Ikn7dw

There is something very wrong with this planet.  Though, yeah, I’m not all that “right” either.

But at least Wild Wonderful Wide World of Wood is over, for today.  Have no idea how I’m going to put up with months of this.  Please oh please, gods of tropes and hentai, let the other classes not suck.

Managed to leave Adventum I without incident.  Though I know richie rich is going to annoy me sooner or later.  His pale skin and accent sounds foriegn.  Frankie advised that he’s so-and-so from whateverland.

Yeah, didn’t care.  Some prince of some place north of Granya.  There are a few human nations along the coast up there.

Exiting the classroom, the noise hits me like a wave.  Guess we really were running late for second period because the hallways are absolutely packed right now.  And it’s quite the view.

Take a breather with my crew and lean on the marble topped railing.  Here I can look down at the crowded first floor hallway too.

Most of the students have tourinese looks.  Guess I would call it, central and western european?  Like German, English, and French maybe?

The second biggest group are the aquecians.

Despite the aquecian heroes taking over and pushing an “aquecia first” style nationalistic policy?  A lot of aquecians still aim their kids at Stormgarde.

And they usually have a bit darker complexion compared to tourinese.  Southern european I guess?  Italian and Spanish maybe?

A distant third is the northerners.

From the human nations north of Tourin.  Scandinavian looking I guess?  Lots of pale skinned, blue eyed, blondes.

Even further back, numbers wise, are the non-humans.  Elves, dwarves, halflings, and beastkin.  They’ve got some pretty unique coloring compared to humans.

And the stereotypes fit, mostly.  Tall skinny elves, short stout dwarves, short skinny halflings, and hairy with animal ears and tails beastkin.

Oh, and in this world halfings and dwarves hate each other.  Apparently the halflings were once dwarves that said “fuck this” to living in the mountains and underground most of the time.

So they split to hang out with humans.  Really aren’t much in the way of halfling “countries.”  Prefer to form their own neighborhoods in human, elvish, or even beastkin communities.

There is even a halfling enclave in Pearlden.

Kind of like diaspora era jews perhaps?

Won’t find them living with dwarves though.  Dwarves see halflings as weak ass pussies who couldn’t hack it.  While halflings see dwarves as stubborn arrogant douchebags with their heads shoved way up their own assholes.

And I think they are both right.

Even fewer than the non-humans are the “exotic” humans.  A sprinkling of folks who look arabic, african, or even oriental.

Noticed a couple oriental looking ones on campus before but have made a point of not asking Hitomi about them.  Don’t want to step on any potential landmines.  Or maybe I’m just being an idiot.

Stormgarde may be the second most prestigious school in Tourin, but internationally speaking its rep is second to none.  Frosty repeatedly brags that here is where you send your kids to “network.”

They’ll create “relationships” with other students.  Political and economic friendships that can pay off down the road.  A very big deal for nobles and merchants interested in the “big picture.”

Crazy to see all these kids in fantasy modern student uniforms.  Really brings home the whole isekai school thing.

Hallways are full of kids heading for their next class.  With clusters getting in everybody’s way.  Chattering away instead of moving.

Like an obstacle course.  Made even more challenging with servants doing their best to follow and assist their masters navigating through the throng.

Most are polite but I see a bit of nudging, pushing, and shoving.

For me though?  Not bad.  You see?  I’m fucking Moses.  Walk a direction, and the sea parts before me.

While desperately trying to not snore, the drool on the table was Mila’s I swear, asked Frankie and Red what the fuck is going on.  Figured I would be popular.  Yeah, my looks may be average but power and wealth have a sex appeal all their own.

And, honestly?  I have not interacted much with these students.  Except for the Brat House kids.  My only “public” test was with Sayo’s magic guitar, Cheri, for art.  Which seemed to go over well with the girls.

Yeah, lots of these kids were at one or more balls but I kind of had my own bubble that I moved in.  Most everyone was just bows, curtsies, a “how do you do,” and at most a short dance.

But I’m also a fucking titled Viscount.  Titled.  As in actually owns important stuff.  For a fifteen year old?  That’s rarer than a virgin hooker in a dockside whorehouse.

Yeah, Stormgarde is half full of nobles.  But most of them are title-less.  They don’t got shit.  Their daddies and mommies got shit.

Okay, so there are a handful of foreigners that got juice too.  But I not only got the goods?  I got them here too.  Lions Keep and Pearlden?  Mine.  Stormgarde?  Technically its under a royal charter but I’m the one that’s protecting it.  So you could say its mine too.

And all these little shits?  They in my house!  And if you don’t like it?  You get the fuck out!²https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yOWjkAxrwE

Apparently, according to my ladies, I came on too strong.  The showdown with the Chastels, game day war, ravine training, Raelera strike, dragon extermination, dungeon invasion, horde slaughter, and dead raising?  Just in the last few weeks?

Might have been a bit, much.

I’m like an alien to them.  Or a bomb.  Maybe both.  I executed a duke for christ’s sake.  In front of thousands of witnesses.  Then ripped out his soul and shattered it.

Thank god for my girls and the brats.  Run into a couple while heading to Umbra I and they are not shy at all.

“Lord Barton!”  “Thank you!”

Hugs feel nice.  Especially when they are from cute girls.  And I earned those hugs too.  Rescued them from a sex slave ring after all.  Yeah it wasn’t on purpose but that still counts.  And thanks to the Rector’s political maneuvering, they are all my wards now.  Whether I wanted them to be or not.

Holy shit, been a busy couple of months.

I need a vacation.

Walking through a crowd that doesn’t want to crowd me.  We make good time down to the first floor.  Rows of windows in the roof above the second floor walkways, and classroom windows, let in plenty of light.

Highly polished white and grey marble floors sound with the steps and shuffles of hundreds of shoes.  Echoing off the stone inner walls, that are various shades of light yellow.  Limestone?  Of course ornate carvings and curving buttress things are everywhere in the walls and columns.

Place really is stupid fancy.

“Room 161, Master.”

Ah, I knew that, Frankie, I knew that.

Heading to the opposite end of the first floor, no I didn’t get lost, we enter the last room on the southeastern end of Kashiwa Hall.

First floor classrooms have theater seating.  Tiered so the teacher is on the ground while the students in the back are the highest.  So the first floor is more like a floor and a half, height-wise.

Once again I’m heading for the back row.  Not having a whole lot of confidence in my smarts so naturally don’t want be anywhere near the limelight.

And who should I see?

“Jon-kun!”

My japanese high school girl, Hitomi Chigusa, the thief-hero of aquecia and a shinobi otaku is waving at me.  Already grabbed the cheap seats that are next to the windows and saved me a spot.

Damn she looks cute in uniform.

She’s got the same black jacket I do.  Just a little shorter.  Reaching to around the belt instead of below it.  Similar white button up shirt too.  Except, like all other women’s fashion in this world, the tailoring is different to create maximum cleavage.

Lift and squish.

Instead of a tie, she’s wearing a gold ribbon in a bow to secure her shirt’s collar.

Her skirt is a tartan of blue, white, and gold, stripes crisscrossing.  The national pattern for aquecia.  Not long enough or short enough, for my tastes.  Reaching almost halfway down her thighs.

Between the end of the skirt and knees is a lovely domain of female flesh.  Ended by black hose stopping just above her knees.  But its not a total loss for mankind as black garters stretch from the hose to up under the skirt somewhere.

So hot!

Sadly there are no tassels since she is a freshman and the black leather buckled shoes are simply daintier versions of mine.

The ensemble is super ero.  Yeah she looks good naked, panting, and sweaty.  But this outfit brings out her JK girl sex appeal.

With a probably visible effort to control myself, and hide my boner, I step up to the now giggling shinobi girl.

“Hi Hito-mmph-!”

My lame attempt to play it cool fails completely as she’s quickly out of her seat, arms wrapped around my neck, lips sexually harassing mine, and tongue searching for the lost treasures of tonsilzuma.

*chu* *mwah* *chu*

Two can play the restraining order game missy.  I start giving as good as I’m getting.

…

“Master, please restrain yourself.”

Uh, what?  Frankie?  Oh, uh, oops?

Not sure when it happened but Hitomi now has her legs wrapped around me too.  While my hands are gripping and digging into her fine tight ass.  We’re on the edge of changing this class to sex ed.

“Oh, Barton-sama, sorry.”  Such a cute blush!  “I, ara, got too excited.”

Shit, yeah, its a room full of kids.  Restrain yourself dude!

“Yes, ah, Hito-I mean, Lady Chigusa.  It is exciting to see you too.”

Worst, acting, ever.

We help get each other’s clothes in order.  Yes, squeezing her tits and ass are an important part of the process.  Then sit down next to each other.

Its normal to have a just about was postcoital snuggle in school these days, right?

Frankie and Red seat themselves after giving me what may very well be the biggest eye rolls in this planet’s history.  Mila just stares at Hitomi with absolute loathing.

Hitomi’s Black Hart and Battle Maid escorts remain standing.  You know what?  Don’t think I’ve ever seen one of Stormgarde’s maid militants actually sit.

Ninja girl looks up at me and excitedly whispers.

“Thank you Jon-kun.  Today has been amazing!  I’m having so much fun.”  She’s about bouncing in my arms.  “Milti and Saria are in my first class.  Clari and Julete in my second.”  That’s the kind of smile that makes it all worthwhile.  “The teachers are great.  Everything I prayed it would be.”

“I’m happy you’re happy, Hitomi.”

And I am.

Already coordinated with the lamer saruman, Stormgarde’s Rector, and the brat house to make sure there were at least two “friendlies” in each of her classes.

No, I’m not helicopter boyfriending.  Hitomi and friends rampaged through aquecia’s upper classes after that chick got gangbanged into oblivion.  Even Hitomi describes it as a “purge.”

Meaning most of the aquecians here?  Hate her guts and would probably kill her if they get the chance.  Or do to her what their parents did to her friend.

And with her dumping, for whatever unfathomable female reason, her disguise?  Not going to take long for all of them to realize who she is.

Originally I wanted to make sure she had fun.  Now?  Need to make sure she is protected.

Sigh…

Giving a shit ain’t easy.

A couple of her teachers are aquecian.  Including this class.

With such late notice, Stormgarde has had to pull out all the stops to fill positions the sex scandal left empty.  Including the teaching spot for this class.

The former professor’s replacement is Lecturer Heccia Lieben Parbiepus.  One of those who managed to flee aquecia one step ahead of an executioner’s axe.

She was a guest of the Hawk, Tourin’s southern marquis, and had to haul ass to get here in time.

Class has filled up by now and most have taken seats but still no teach.  Twenty kids in this one.  A lot of them keep glancing back at me as they chat.  Looks like at least ten have servants.  A couple of those seeming to have two.

Notice several girls building up the courage to talk to me.  Maybe set at ease since two brat house members are here too, sitting in front of us, chatting with Hitomi.

It is no secret that I already have three wives and three concubines.  As well as a number of mistresses.  Very weird to me that even though I'm not “popular?”  Some girls are still interested in my, uh, patronage?  Protection?  Prick?

These girls, by the way they are wearing their uniforms?  Untucked shirts.  Untied ribbons.  Shirts unbuttoned enough to show lots of cleavage.  Look like the rebellious types.  Probably fun in the sack if its not an act.

Couple of rougher, uniform wise, looking boys are also sucking up to the two brat house, one girl, one boy, members.

Wait.  No one wants to mess with me.  Everyone stays out of my way.  Even the Adventum teacher didn’t call me out on my sleepi- I mean eye resting.  Am I?  Considered a “delinquent?”

Worse.  Am I the delinquent?

Plus, Umbra I is a class for the [Dark School].  The by far least popular field of magic.  But this year has a full class?  See by the lanyards and tassels that more than just freshmen are here too.

Frosty told me that my showing off my necromancy has gathered more interest in the course than usual.  But a full class?  Even Adventum I, a popular course, wasn’t full.

What the hell is going on here-

*bang*

“Good morning!”

The class door flies open and a woman walks in.  A tall lady with big titties, thin waist, and big ass.  Wrapped in a skin tight outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination.  Long black hair reaches way down her bare back.

Oh shit, is she showing ass crack?  Dayam!

Like a slutty catwoman bodysuit that’s made out of silk.  With what’s got to be four inch heels.  Even smoking a long pipe with a pointed hat on and hair arranged to cover one eye.  And that one eye?  Is red.

Yeah, that’s definitely not the Stormgarde teacher’s uniform.

About every pair of eyes in the room is molesting every inch of her.  Except for mine.

You see, I picked up on the [Charm Magic] as soon as she walked in.  As a branch of the [Dark School], this would normally be considered okay.  However, [Charm Magic] is considered almost as taboo as [Blood Magic] so using it unannounced in class?

That’s a no-no.

While the initial impact is big?  I start seeing resistance.  Especially among the ones with tassels and lanyards.  Including my brat house crew.

Hitomi is, shaking?  Whether from anger or fear I can’t tell.  Her asteral is completely unaffected though.  Not leaning towards slutty teach as many others are.

*pop*

And like that, its gone.

Lecturer Parbiepus has reached a podium and turns to face the class.

“I have four classes for Umbra I this semester.  Almost eighty students wanting to learn at least the basics of the [Dark School].”  She shakes her head.  “Out of five hundred students?  That’s a ridiculous number.”

Takes a sultry puff on her pipe.

“What you just experienced is [Charm Magic].  One of the weaker spells too.”  Her eyes sweep across certain students.  “Must say I am impressed with how many resisted it.  To some degree.”

Suggestively rubbing both sides of the podium with her hands.

“The [Dark School] is the call of the Fallen Gods.  Its practitioners rightly feared and monitored.  Able to spread suffering and death more than any other school.  Even the [Fire School].”

Her tempting eyes lock on me.

“Recent achievements of a necromancer have inspired a surge in interest, but!  I suggest you tread no further than the basics.  Delve too deeply into the [Dark School] and the gods themselves may move against you.”

Quite a few students start looking at each other doubtfully.  Questioning their choice.

“Stormgarde does allow course changes in the first week of a semester.”  Giving many a hard look.  “I advise that you do some serious considering on your future.”

Wow she’s laying it on thick.

A teasing clap brings most everyone’s eyes back to her.

“Roll call.  Let’s do this alphabetically instead of seniority…”

Slutty teach starts going down a list in her hands.  Often asking an additional question or two of each student.  Finally reaching me.

“Viscount Jon Barton.”

“Here.”

She looks up at me with lustful lashes.

“My lord, your fame has spread far and wide.”  A glance at Frankie.  “I hear there is even a cult that considers you their god.”

“As long as they don’t expect me to answer their prayers.”

Nervous laughter from a few students.  Something feels off and no one wants to get in the middle of a pissing match between us.  Slutty teach’s eyes glint for a moment.

“I am very interested in your, skills.”  My eyes are up here babe.  “Would you like to join me for lunch?”

“Sorry, already got plans.”

“I see.  Another time then.”

She takes the rejection without even a blip and continues roll call.  Finally reaching.

“Livina Hanneman.”

No response.

“Livina Hanneman?”

Hitomi, who has been far to still in my arms for a while now, finally speaks.

“T-There was a registration m-mistake.  It has b-been corrected, s-sensei.”

Again not a blip from slutty teach.  But her eyes gain an icy edge.

“Oh, I see.  Hitomi Chigusa.  Well that was quite the spelling error, wasn’t it.”

You could hear a pin drop as the rest of the class goes dead silent.

“Y-yes.”

Hitomi looks like she just took a bite out of the sourest candy ever made.

“Now that is cleared up.  I have one more question for you.”

Got a bad feeling about this.

“Y-yes?”

…

“Kill anyone else’s father lately?”

…

Awkward…