Total Views (All): | 2,202 |
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Total Views (Chapters): | 680 |
Average Views: | 680 |
Word Count: | 2,846 |
Average Words: | 2,846 |
Pages: | 11 |
Member | Status | Activity |
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1 / 1 | May 5, 2024 | |
1 / 1 | Apr 9, 2024 | |
1 / 1 | Feb 4, 2024 | |
1 / 1 | Jan 30, 2024 | |
1 / 1 | Oct 11, 2023 | |
1 / 1 | Sep 21, 2023 | |
1 / 1 | Sep 11, 2023 | |
1 / 1 | Aug 29, 2023 | |
1 / 1 | Jul 24, 2023 | |
1 / 1 | May 3, 2023 | |
1 / 1 | Dec 5, 2022 | |
1 / 1 | Oct 15, 2022 | |
1 / 1 | Sep 25, 2022 | |
1 / 1 | Aug 11, 2022 | |
1 / 1 | Jul 25, 2022 |
Well, I have never been an Ariftura fan, sorry for bad spelling, I am too lazy. So here is my review.
While a good job is done, I feel the protagonist a bit lacking in his confusion for dying. Yeah, it is a light hearted comedy, I get that, but that happened too quick. Maybe give a better description, of both your physical and surrounding state. You could say things like, I noticed I wasn't breathing, or show him suprised to be floating. I know many prefer to skip all that meaningless banter, but it breaks the link between me and book.
Also, one of Arutiara's (yeah, I am gonna mess up the spelling everytime) best point I felt were its world description. Whenever the MC wasn't in danger, as he would just sit to relax. While it is important to develop your own style, For a fanfic, try to copy the author's style.
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