Total Views (All): | 2,943 |
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Total Views (Chapters): | 917 |
Average Views: | 31 |
Word Count: | 46,441 |
Average Words: | 1,548 |
Pages: | 169 |
Member | Status | Activity |
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1 / 30 | Nov 8, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Sep 3, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Jul 23, 2023 | |
30 / 30 | Jun 26, 2023 | |
30 / 30 | May 20, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Apr 28, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Apr 28, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Apr 28, 2023 | |
25 / 30 | Apr 21, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Apr 13, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Apr 6, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Mar 27, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Feb 2, 2023 | |
1 / 30 | Jan 23, 2023 | |
24 / 30 | Jan 11, 2023 |
The grammar is good. The story start with a whole series of different scenes and characters of which the reader know nothing about and there is plenty of reference to precedent facts that we do not know. This type of writing technique can be interesting and captivating if well used. Sadly, in my opinion, this is not the case. When it's used in every single chapter is just confusionary. The story progress with you not understanding much of the story behind the majority of the actions or who are those characters. The choice of style is not to my liking, the author has tried to use a more"grandiose" style in some of the events, to mark their importance and make them more memorable. (It's not exactly the case, but I lack some vocabulary to describe it more accurately.) The problem is, we know nothing about this characters, and just because you described with a few words their sad history, we are not going to suddenly grow attached to them. You need time, several well written chapters or just a lot of them, to make the reader grow attached. So, using that style is just the wrong thing to do. It's just awkward to read. Some of the descriptions of the characters are awkwardly placed. For example, in an incident, the main character is called a femboy, he is described as feminine more beautiful than many women. Does this has anything to do with the conversation happening? That, by the way, the readers can understand little about it. No, it has nothing to do with it, there is no meaning to it and it's not even one of the initial chapters where there were plenty of chances to describe him, so, why? Another thing that is quite uncommon and it's hard to manage well for a writer is the incredible amount of extremely over powered powers that a lot of characters seems to have. Adding this to the many untold abilities of the main characters, many fights are not something that you can "follow". They are more of the kind "what new type of overpowered ability is the MC going to take out from his ass."
I sincerely hope this review helps the author in some way since the story could be interesting.
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