"Johnny, don't leave me, you said you will love me forever!"

Those words didn't stop Johnny Morrel from leaving the elf mafia boss Filarion Elathana, the head of the Elathana family. And, over what? Just because of the small family business that Filarion is running. He just supplies adventurer's guild drop-outs with weapons and potions. It is a lucrative business, by far. One that has spread all over the Roarin Empire.

"You said you are no fool, that you are not a chump"

Those words ended up with Johnny warding his house, and sending Filarion's things back via a delivery man. Maybe, if Filarion had not held a knife at Johnny's throat as he said them, things would have gone differently, but Filarion was an optimist.

"I will have your heart on a platter!"

These words were followed by a court order, a restraining order, and the emperor looking into Filarion's dealings. Now, the Elathana family is at risk of being exposed, and send to prison. So, Filarion sent Johnny one last letter, to express his fillings for the human adventurer, who moonlighted as a tank.

"They will bust your knee caps!"

A short note, but from the heart. One that made Johnny hire a necromancer to guard him, as much as Adam doesn't like the job. Or Johnny's paranoia.

A crack novel, with a yandare male elf, who wants to get back together with his human lover, despite his tendency of putting his foot in his mouth. With adventuring and yes, redemption. For once, a happy ending for the yandare.
Inspired by the song Bust your knee caps, by Pomplamoose
Updated daily at 11 am ESST.