There are frequent grammar mistakes in every chapter. From just reading, I think the best was when I only saw one or two grammatical mistakes. A simple passover would fix these. It's over all pretty good, but it really does need another pair of eyes to proofread. That's the smallest complaint though. My biggest issue is, if there is action, then you will be absolutely flooded with useless information. It gets exhausting to read because you are reading the same experience notifications over and over and over and over again. Would be fixed by the main character just looking at a congregate score after battle is done.

Honestly, the grammar isn't what bothers me the most.

They use the status window far too frequently too. It gets very large and just encapsulates entire chunks later on. It's largely irrelevant information most of the time.

What I found the worst though is action is largely telling us what happens, not showing. The MC will say every spell she does, and she frequently does the same spell over and over again. So you have paragraphs flooded with her saying the spell she is using. It's not interesting to read and it just leads to skipping swathes of combat, because there is little description on whats happening, just her announcing what she is casting and then flooding us with experience notifications.

The end result is barely understanding what's happening. Constant Repetition. Awful to read.

Most of the story need reformatting to be at a more readable level. I ended up just skipping portions of the story because the combat was entirely unengaging to read and I gave trying to dig through repetition just to figure out what was going on. Then, I just gave up, and stopped reading the combat entirely, just skipping to the end.

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Okay, it's not all bad though. So here is the good:

Spoiler

I have less to say with these points because I don't have notes. They've just done great here. The characters are all extremely well through out and excellently characterized. I loved many of the characters in this story, easily able to relate to many of them. The author did an excellent job here. The world building is also fantastic. They've done an excellent job here. They are also great at establishing stakes, and tension is well held in many places. The pacing in this regard is fabulous.

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So yeah. Honestly, what hurts me most is the wasted potential here. If they put in some work in reformatting most of their story, rewriting the action scenes to be more show don't tell, having someone proofread for them, and congregate a lot of the information, this story will be amazing.I'm honestly bitter right now, not because it's bad, especially when they do so many things right, but as it is, it's a bit of wasted potential. I hope they rework the earlier chapters, because then I might come back to this story.

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