- Chapter 90: Double Teamed Pt.1(R-18)11 hours ago
- Chapter 89: Professor Bathsheda Babbling (R-18)Jan 26, 2021
- Chapter 88: Professor Aurora SinistraJan 25, 2021
- Chapter 87: RevealJan 24, 2021
- Chapter 86: Pleasant Night (R-18)Jan 23, 2021
- Chapter 85: Hunting Pt.3Jan 22, 2021
- Chapter 84: Hunting Pt.2Jan 21, 2021
- Chapter 83: Hunting Pt.1Jan 20, 2021
- Chapter 82: Livia (R-18)Jan 15, 2021
- Chapter 81: Hermione Granger(R-18)Jan 14, 2021
- Chapter 80: Threesome (R-18)Jan 13, 2021
- Chapter 79: Daphne Greengrass (R-18)Jan 12, 2021
- Chapter 78: Susan Bone (R-18)Jan 11, 2021
- Chapter 77: Professor Septima Vector Pt. 2(R-18)Jan 8, 2021
- Chapter 76: Fay Dunbar (R-18)Jan 7, 2021
Table of Contents
The main character is a more edgy, and in my opinion believable, version of Harry Potter in his 4th year; once he is less naïve and more interested in proactively figuring out why he has become so screwed over and, once the veil is magically lifted from his eyes, realizes that a lot doesn't make sense;
"Why did Dumbledore leave me with abusive family when 'Voldemort died'. My parents certainly didn't want them to be my guardians, did they?!!"
"Why did I never receive a piece of wizard mail from my parents friends, or the bank, or the powerful wizard who put me in this house?!!"
"Why was I living like a pauper, my grandparents were rich and my parents had a vault full of money!?"
"How does deadly stuff keeps sneaking into the school and every newly hired teacher seems to be a disguised sociopath or nincompoop!!! Isn't Dumbledore a powerful wizard who can read minds?"
"Why is Snape even a teacher; he is horrible at his job, everybody knows he has it out for me, and everything about him screams 'I'm a Death Eater! Including his Deatheater tattoo!!!'"
See the spoiler at the bottom for an analysis of the original HP series that explains the setup for this story.
I'll caution and warn potential readers that this story is "ecchi" (content may occasionally be spicy), but this story hasn't been focused on that aspect thus far. The story is a modern-setting fantasy genre in the Potter Universe (obviously) ; no RPG elements.
Style: Nothing to complain about. Well organized and consistent with HP cannon, at the start. So far, largely presenting the POV of the main character. Occasional glimpses from the POV of the side-characters regarding the status of the main character (e.g. while the main character was unconscious during a medical exam, they noted horrific abuse, various curses, and status effects... which hint at things I won't spoil, but make perfect sense in the universe and actually fill plotholes in the original story).
Characters: Backgrounds consistent with the HP universe. Realistic behaviors, more than the original, in my opinion. Author captures realistic emotions and logical reactions to situations, and consistent with facts presented in the HP universe (though individual characters get a different spin re. motivations or off-screen events prior to the start of THIS story) ; if you've read the actual books or seen the movies, there is plenty of evidence supporting the perspective that Dumbledore is perfectly willing to sacrifice the safety of children (definitely Harry his "pig to slaughter") to accomplish his goals, seeking personal glory (he isn't sharing info with the Ministry of Magic) by killing Voldemort personally, all the while collecting the Deathly Hallows; his self-sacrifice in the original books happens only after he finds out that he is dying.
Grammar and Spelling: What the author intends is always clear, but conjugation of verb tenses is occasionally off. Sometimes a word is poorly chosen. Etc. That said, definitely readable. In stories where I've seen this, I've noted that authors frequently improve very quickly... simply by writing additional chapters, reading reviews of readers, and responding, the author will refine their ability. So I'm not worried for the long-term prospects in this area. (Though author may want to come back after writing 100 chapters and do some clean-up. Or partner with a native english-speaking editor if they want to publish.)
Storytelling & Enjoyment: I'm super happy thus far. Reading this story makes me realize all of the holes that can't be explained in the original HP story if one presumes that people like Dumbledore (and others) were ignorant individuals holding incredible positions of magical authority and intellectual prestige and/or who really had Harry's safety as a priority, yet time and again allowed him to stumble into near-death experiences. Also, someone acknowledges that teenage boys aren't monks and magic shape shifting would be of extreme interest to young wizards.
I'm usually pretty easy to please, as I'm dying for new stories that release content frequently.
The following isn't a spoiler, per se, since it refers to the original work on which this fanfiction is based, but reading it could spoil something that you might want to re-read, as the content explains the basis for this entire fanfiction;
Q: Does Dumbledore use Harry like a "lamb to the slaughter"?
A: Oh no, certainly not.
What he did was much worse.
You see, he realized there was something unique about Harry that connected him to Voldemort immediately after he survived the killing curse. His comments about the scar make that readily abundant. From that point on, we have a long series of events all aimed at a single end result... and that result is not simply Harry getting killed. The end result must be that Harry is willing to sacrifice himself.
Dumbledore may not have realized at first that Harry would need to let himself be struck down, though I think he knew that at least by the end of second year, when he laid eyes upon Tom Riddle's diary. He still knew that Harry would have to oppose Voldemort.
Now ask yourself: if you're a parent, would you really let your child risk their life to fight against the most dangerous man in the world? Would you care about the greater good of everyone else, or would you care about protecting your child?
So, Harry cannot have a family that cares about him. No parental figure to step in and fix things. Harry has to learn early on that he has to take care of everything on his own, because there is no adult he can trust. Enter: the Dursleys. They gave him a home, they kept him alive, but they never cared for or loved him.
[And there were other prospective adoptive parents within the wizarding world.]
His time at Hogwarts? Over and over again Harry had to risk his life to save others. Over and over again the professors ignored him or allowed problems to fester. Rumors? Bullying? Students attacking each other? Nobody ever intervenes on Harry's behalf... except for fake Moody, who stops Draco from cursing Harry in the back.
Think about that for a moment. The only person to ever actively intervene on Harry's side in a school incident was a death eater. Some of you may protest that McGonagall was on Harry's side, but she never actually did anything to help Harry. She put on a good show in fifth year, but she never stopped Umbridge. She never stopped rumors. She never stopped anyone from doing anything. She never even sat down with Harry to see if he was doing alright. She did precisely nothing of any use. The most she ever did was get him on the Quidditch team in his first year... which was lovely, except for the fact that she never asked if he was even interested. That means her getting Harry on the team was done solely for her benefit, not for Harry's, so I don't even give her that much credit.
So Harry wasn't made to feel particularly welcome anywhere... except at the Burrow with the Weasleys. His friends mattered, but he learned early on that he did not. Sirius Black almost had an opportunity to give him a home, but in the end Sirius died trying to save Harry.
And in the aftermath of that event, does Dumbledore criticize Harry for running off? No. He takes the blame on himself, and then immediately reveals the prophecy. Harry is in shock. He's angry, he's barely begun to grieve, and he is easily manipulated... telling him at that most critical of moments that he is named by prophecy as the one to defeat Voldemort ensures he doesn't question or think too hard on the matter.
Again, remember that Dumbledore never criticizes Harry for his decision to try and save Sirius. Harry himself might feel guilty about it, but Dumbledore wanted to make sure Harry didn't start second guessing his need to save others. He loops Harry into his plans during sixth year, and sets up the final horcrux hunt... knowing that in time, Snape would reveal the truth to Harry.
But Harry would only learn the truth after the long and difficult task of destroying the other horcruxes. Harry, the boy who is willing to run off to help someone else without a single thought for his own welfare, who has no real family of his own, who has been utterly convinced that he alone can stop Voldemort, finally learns that he has to die for Voldemort to be defeated.
And what does Dumbledore leave for Harry? The Resurrection Stone. A stone that lets you see projections of the dead... and in the tale, the brother who used it was driven to his own death. What does Harry see when he uses the stone? His parents, Remus and Sirius... and not one of them tries to stop him.
James tried to face Voldemort unarmed to buy his family precious moments to escape. Lily let herself be killed in the hopes it would protect her son. Sirius, a wanted fugitive, fled his only sanctuary and went into the depths of a place where everyone wanted him arrested and executed to fight death eaters to try and save Harry.
Does anyone actually think that the genuine spirits of these people would simply smile and encourage Harry to sacrifice his own life?
No, the resurrection stone was a trap... and Dumbledore, an avid seeker [and one time owner of each of the Deathly Hallows], likely knew that. He was temporarily blinded by his desire to see his sister when he first found the ring [that contained the Resurrection Stone], but he had almost a year to contemplate the stone. He knew full well leaving the stone for Harry would provide him with encouragement to help him on his way to sacrificing his own life.
Harry managed to survive, though that was more luck than anything else. [Honestly, this happens after Dumbledore died, so one cannot argue that the circumsances of Harry's survival can be attributed to Dumbledore's machinations or preparations, because there is no evidence to support it. His survival after facing Voldemort was a miracle.]
But he survived only after being completely willing to sacrifice his own life, and let Voldemort strike him down... the culmination of 16 years of setup, ensuring he simultaneously loved and cared about others enough to want to protect them, but did not care about himself... so much that he would put his own life before the lives of others.
It was a remarkably difficult line to walk, but Dumbledore did a masterful job of it. Just enough encouragement and help to keep Harry going, just enough exposure to the Dursley's and just enough neglect at school to make sure he never felt he could go to the adults instead of handling things on his own.
- David Michael, Quora (July 28, 2020) [with editorial added in brackets]
It isn't even clear that Voldemort needed to die by Harrys hand. Even if one believes in prophecy, and many in the wizarding world do not, all prophecies are so ambiguous that any number of conditions could technically fulfill them. Once Voldemort was captured, by an adult (certainly possible, since the prophecy didn't prevent him from being mostly-killed at least once, and doesn't say that he can't be captured or stripped of his power), all the other death eaters were able to be contained in Azkaban, why not Voldemort? If someone was concerned with the prophecy, had the Ministry of Magic been involved earlier (don't tell me that they wouldn't have believed Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Order of Merlin (First Class), Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot.
With more manpower, Voldemort, and his horcruxes, could have been captured or collected by Dumbledore; the prophecy could have been fulfilled any number of ways without immediate risk to Harry, or his death.
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It had potential at first but that all ended when the story is filled with the massive wealth Harry inherited from not just his own Potter house but also 4 other major houses. Oh and also his perverted tendencies. The reason I gave it a 3 is because it's actually pretty well written despite the wealth flexing, the R-18 stuffs and the massive info dumps.
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Well it’s the first time that I wrote the review, So I don’t know how I should do it but well gotta try.
So personally I loved it, some people found it boring and a bit long when the autor keep going into detail about Harry wealth and his responsibility as a Lord but not me. I think that’s what draw the line between this fanfic and the movie. We got to see a new Harry and it’s not a sudden change, we have all the backgrounds which explain his change and all.
Loved the fight scene very explicit which help me viewing the scene in my mind.
Can say the same about the smut the only problem that I have is Harry first time. He was acting like a f**king porn actor at only 14 I mean come on... you should at least be realistic about his first and then you can go crazy for the other since he would have experience.
Well that’s all for me a strong 5 for now might go lower if sh*t go crazy in a bad way but nothing to worry about for now.
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Stopped reading about chapter 25 then forced myself to keep going since this was so highly rated.
Just going to say that it has 15 chapters of explaining about properties. Yep, if you want to read about real estate feel free to read this. Otherwise skip this. While the later half of the story seems to focus heavily on smut and actual characters interacting, good luck getting there.
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I like the concept a lot. Having him interact with the Blacks is always a positive in my opinion. Though I would suggest going back and editing the chapters as I noticed an increase in grammar and spelling following chapter 2. Keep up the good work.
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