As a self-insert Destiny fanfic with a system (or two) included for the MC, this is easily the best I've ever read. Special kudos for expanding the class powers beyond just the ones in the game without actually adding anything too special or unique.

The only gripe I have with this fic is the copious amount of author's notes littered mid-chapter everywhere. I get that there's a need to explain stuff for non-Destiny players and to justify certain things... but you don't have to do that by blatantly interrupting the immersion with an author's note. That's like watching an interesting cutscene and the game is suddenly paused to show a lore screen.

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I've not played Destiny past a freely available demo, which I don't think takes the player much out of the Cosmodrome. Reading this makes me think the game (franchise) would be worth playing (at least for the lore).

That aside, I think this is written well. I hope the author continues it. 

Coming from the position of a Destiny neophyte, I don't know how well the actual game mechanics are described, but the descriptions are sufficient to keep reading. I think the explanations of the protagonist's abilities could be a bit clearer.

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