However, I have comments for your next great work. As a short story the ending was quite rushed... Maybe slow it down a bit more as you wrap up, but it still delivered a good ending overall. I do criticize some of the decisions made at the end as 1) she should have thought about it more, or we were told about how she thought about it and 2) for us to truly understand the decision we need to know the system better... But as just a light introspective short story it was good.

Original review

This review might be a little early as I generally review after 20+ chapters, but it is a very promising start and I want others to find it.

Pros: A fun story about a dungeon core breaking the rules and being naughty ;)

I am loving the adventure and the exploration. Although I do think other characters will eventually need to be added to add better depth and that will be tricky with the current flow... But seeing the authors work so far I am very encouraged. (I have not loved a dungeon story this much since I found Blue Core... Maybe that is why I kinda hope it fixes the land and makes sudo-friends)

Cons: it is not 100 chapters longer...

Suggestions: I know the dungeon is still learning how to think and it was fun hearing about instinct and being naughty.... but really thinking through things it doesn't know about, even if it is circles, for longer describing the uncertainty helps us grow more attached.

11 Likes · Like

Invenatus

Status: epilogue: no longer just a...

Dec 4, 2020

Melancholy is what I might think the Dungeon feels initially after realizing there is no life to take their purpose is impossible well some Dungeon Core equivalent anyways.

Spoiler

Then it ends with the Dungeon Core becoming Earth Mother administrator of the system that governs life and denies them the ability to even consider malicious actions towards one another.

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3 Likes · Like

Akyas

Status: c19

Dec 2, 2020

It is short but deligghtful story, which all people of dungeon core genre would enjoy.

3 Likes · Like

BobTheLost

Status: epilogue

Dec 3, 2020

On the whole, a pretty good read. It is a bit short, which is fine as not all stories need to be long, and there is a followup story that has been promised to be released sometime after this review.

2 Likes · Like

AkashicRecords

Status: side story 2: a lonely slime

Apr 1, 2021

So sad. It was a sad story but was a good read.

1 Likes · Like

Chriama

Status: side story 2: a lonely slime

Mar 6, 2021

This story (well, it’s sequel) was what pushed me to finally create an account on Scribble Hub to keep track of updates. I would call it a post-apocalyptic fantasy novel. It was a little lonely, with only one sentient character, but that fits the theme. Its - her - motivation made a lot of sense, although the fact that she was consistently working towards a single goal made the world building a little lacklustre. The grammar and word choice wasn’t super polished, but nothing that interfered with my understanding or enjoyment and still a solid 4/5. I skimmed the last battle and honestly, while it felt like the author had put a lot of effort into describing the strategy, it felt very mechanical.

Spoiler

I wish there was a clearer explanation of what happens to the freed souls or how new ones are created, since that was a pretty important part of the whole plot.

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Spoiler

The summary of the ark project and how and why the system was created was an expository info dump. There was a little bit of foreshadowing, but it would have been great if there had been more to throughout the story instead of only at the end.

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The overall ending was very satisfying, with the creation of a new world, and I’m super excited to see how that world plays out in the sequel story.

1 Likes · Like

cathfach

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