Beloved milkmaid of Spetlamu.
36J tits.
A minotaur.
Potentially our hero but not in a good place emotionally.
The listless wife of the Burgrave.
The only straight vampire in the castle.
Tatiana's cute bisexual sibling.
Two years her junior. Lover of the Burgrave Chevoy Vesh. No use around the farm.
Innkeeper's daughter.
Fairy researcher.
Tatiana's best friend and three years her junior.
A notorious vampire.
Burgrave of Castle Vesh and ruler of Spetlamu
Dark Lesbian Bride of the Burgrave Chevoy Vesh. Elven Ancestry.
I imagine her looking somewhat like the actor Anya Taylor-Joy.
Dark Lesbian Bride of the Burgrave Chevoy Vesh. Has a cursed asshole.
I imagine her looking somewhat like the actor Sydney Sweeney.
Broken-hearted old dairy farmer.
Father of Tatiana and Nikola.
An unpopular local priest of the Church of Mister Jesus.
Wife of the unpopular local priest.
Victim of frequent sexual assaults by the villagers as a way of needling him.
Elderly village piemaker.
Wife of the cis Mrs Mulberry.
Elderly village beekeeper.
Wife of the trans Mrs Mulberry.
A prankster and clown known around Spetlamu for taking jokes a little too far.
Philosopher who taught that the physical world was secondary to a world of absolute ideas.
Psychoanalyst who taught that the phallus was a 'transcendental signifier' with primacy over the material penis.
Estranged wife of Rutt the Minotaur.
Fought alongside him in the Idea Wars.
An Octobitch.
A serial killer who only kills ghosts.
Fought in the Idea Wars.
A gnome.
Leader of a merchant caravan from Oasis Ninety-Four to the capital of Forfeiture.
A slave owned by Atticus Revola.
A sex worker following Atticus Revola's merchant caravan.
Tatiana's grandfather. A wise dairy farmer.
The younger royal princess of the kingdom Forfeiture.
Looks very much like the actress Dove Cameron, except with 34G breasts.
The older royal princess of the kingdom of Forfeiture.
Looks very much like the celebrity Bella Thorne, except with 32E breasts.
Arguably the true ruler of Forfeiture.
Fought in the Idea Wars.
One of the Godfolk.
Teaches kindness through restraint. Worshipped by vampires.
One of the Godfolk.
Worshipped by Rutt and the cis Mrs Mulberry.
A village in the north-east of Forfeiture with a Hammer Horror vibe.
Ruled by the notorious vampire Burgrave Chevoy Vesh, with the blessing of his good friend the Queen of Forfeiture.
A fairytale kingdom. It neighbours the wilder desert lands of Ligature, but itself gets darker and more gothic to its north-east where our story is set.
The deserts and barren plains that adjoin Forfeiture.
Considered a nation, but really only because of the network of semi-autonomous City States around its oases and their incredible beach volleyball teams.
According to Rutt " one of the most cursed kingdoms in the Multi-Verse. A sick island, withered and spent."
Capital City of Ligature
One of the roughest and most dangerous cities in Ligature.
Mythical Half-Minotaurs/Half-Cows with the body of a Minotaur and the mind of a cow.
They don't exist.
A Faction in the Idea Wars
A faction in the Idea Wars.
A conflict outside Linear Time to determine what concepts would, and would not be, thinkable by conscious minds within this region of the Multi-Verse.
Concepts that are impossible to think of in the world of Forfeiture and Ligature as a result of the Idea Wars.
Mechanical monstrosities from beyond the stars.
Popular sport in Ligature, and one of the things that binds its disparate Oasis City States together as a nation.
The anus.
Okay, where to even start. This is a comedy of s*xual horror in a fantasy setting.
It promises gore, s*xual content and strong language, and from what I have read up until this point, it delivers on all of them.
That said, while it has its moments of comedy and comedic timing, much of the humour was not to my tastes. It's not serious or intelligent enough to be considered satire in my book, and although it does remind me of a parody, I'm not entirely sure what it might be a parody of.
As far as the influences referenced in the synopsis, I only really recognised Monty Python, and I guess I do see some hint of that influence, yes.
As niche as this story claims to be though, I have come across at least one other story that reminds me of this one. But that one was a litRPG, and it would have read as a s*xual horror story to anyone other than the protagonist.
As stated in the summary, this story does depict a fair amount of s*xual violence (and also regular violence, and gore). Much of this is treated in a pretty blasé way in the narrative of the chapters I have read, which I suppose fits into the story's general tone. It does not appear to take itself too seriously, and kicks off switching POV in-between a number of locations and characters, introducing them into the story. For me, the timing of these switches was a bit off though, and I found it thoroughly annoying when the POV suddenly shifted from 3rd person to 1st person for seemingly no good reason, and then right back again.
Anyways, disregarding the more extreme instances of crudeness and violence, I did find this story somewhat amusing. Unfortunately, the aforementioned is an integral part of the story, which is fundamentally crude and lewd.
Furthermore, the use of modern, vulgar or informal terminology (particularly in terms of anatomy) had a somewhat disruptive effect on me, making me question whether this story was supposed to be set in some sort of fantasy medieval times or in more modern times. The sizes of various organs also kept getting increasingly ridiculous.
In short, this story is definitely not for me, so I will stop reading right here.
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