Total Views (All): | 21,720 |
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Total Views (Chapters): | 15,091 |
Average Views: | 265 |
Word Count: | 75,017 |
Average Words: | 1,316 |
Pages: | 273 |
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Well the story itself is mediocre. Not good and not bad. But the writing lack a lot of things.
The interaction between the character is unnatural. The character is not talking to each other, but talking to the viewer doing world building.
There's to much changing POV in a chapter. Changing POV can be a powerful tool to write things more clearly from different perspectives, but please don't overuse it.
There's too many long dialogue, and what I mean by long is multiple paragraph of character talking in the mentioned 'unnatural' conversation. If you need to write a long dialogue author, please put some non-verbal communication in between the verbal. Like the expression and gesture of the character. It flesh out the Convo more.
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