Im actually mad at this fiction. 

The whole premise is interesting but the realization and reasoning are all over the place. 

Example: 

MC while doing CPR, shouting and crying, in the end he saves his girlfriend from dying, next chapter she's in the hospital, barely woke up and hes like: "i am strong so I want a harem". Now chill the f*ck out dude, she almost died, lost most of her belonging mainly BECAUSE of your stupidity and now you f*cking up her life even more. 

You sometimes have no idea what you're talking about, you do mention it in brackets but I would recommend doing some research before writing about stuff you don't understand. That's how you get good.

I rly recommend using Grammarly or having someone to double, triple check your grammar, I understand you're not a native English speaker but some sentences are barely understandable or make no sense at all. You're writing the same things 2-3 times per chapter but changing up the sentence, it's like your on a written test and have no idea about the topic so you're going for word count. 

The first few rewritten chapters are actually not so bad, not a lot of mistakes and they are enjoyable, but everything goes downhill afterwards. 

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