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Diary of Other-Worldly King
Diary of Other-Worldly King
3.8k Views 54 Favorites 24 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 56 Readers
3.7 (3 ratings)
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I am born to farmer parents without resources to be a privileged child or MC from day one. But I am destined to be a king.

Author note:
Hello everyone, this is my first novel, and English is not my native language please forgive the grammar. I wish to improve my craft, so if you are willing to add criticisms or comments, it would be much appreciated. I hope you enjoy my story.

To get better idea of happening in the story, please visit the public post of maps of geography world of "Diary of Orther-worldly King" on my Patreon page.

ActionAdventureFantasyHaremIsekaiMatureRomanceSlice of LifeSmut
Ability Steal Accelerated Growth Adventurers Age Progression Arranged Marriage Harem-seeking Protagonist Healing Kingdom Building Management Politics Sentimental Protagonist Slave Harem Slaves Sword And Magic Weak to Strong
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      Status: (23) page-21 of diary: new capital...
      Aug 31, 2020

      The whole story feels very forced. It feels less like he is using his skills as along and more like his skills are using Him. This is especially obvious in the begining of the story. The large amount of skills aren't really a problem, so much as how they are displayed. The skills don't need to have the experience displayed, and it makes it feel very cluttered. It was way too much to read, they really only need to be made known if they level up, and maybe at the end of a chapter. Also, when doing an accelerated story, the experience needed to level up him or his skills is way too high for a normal person, let alone the MC. The story is good, except that it is very fast. Try slowing down the plot, and maybe fill it with more interactions with the characters. Try to develop the harem members more before they officially become harem members. Thanks for the invite

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